It's that time of year again. The final few days when people can enjoy doing (and eating) what they want before they make big changes starting on January 1. (Or January 2, because January 1, you know, is a holiday.)
Over the years, I have made my own resolutions too. So I won't judge anyone else for setting goals. And I've known people whose New Year's resolutions have inspired great and meaningful changes in their lives. People who have given up smoking. People who have given up toxic relationships. People who have continued a new exercise routine far beyond January.
I'm delighted when we can celebrate such accomplishments. Deep down, I'm a Calvinist, with a pretty strong conception of human sin. I know we are all broken and need plenty of "fixing up." Each approaching new year can serve as a secular Ash Wednesday, reminding us of our mortality, and encouraging us to atone for our mistakes and try to get our acts together. We can take stock of our lives, identify things we are unhappy with, and figure out ways to improve things.
Of course, much of our self-reflection is heavily influenced by others -- how others treat us, how we imagine others see us, and the images of success that we see in others around us and portrayed in popular culture. As a pastor, I hate buying into such cultural peer pressure, especially when it often is so unhealthy and blindly judgmental.
I worry about all of the New Year's resolutions people make to try to fit someone else's idea of happiness. These resolutions imagine a certain physical appearance, a certain relationship status, a certain job title, a certain income level, or a certain lifestyle that people think will make them happy. Usually, though, if the goals don't come from deep within us, they lead mostly to resentment and frustration. And they easily become part of a narrative that we just are not good enough.
While the Calvinist in me recognizes a sliver of truth in that, the Christian in me knows that the gospel of Jesus teaches a different appreciation of humankind. God looks at us not only with righteous judgment, but with love and grace that is bigger than our sinfulness.
Which is to say, many New Year's Resolutions must make God's heart ache. When our goals are motivated by what we see on a video screen, or the rejection that we see in others' eyes, they almost never have anything to do with God. As a pastor, I hate it when people confuse the judgments of other people for the judgment of God.
Speaking of that judgment -- I also know that most people will fail at their resolutions. It usually takes lots of perseverance, and several false starts and slip ups, to make significant changes in our lives. And it can be easy for these failures to become part of an inner voice that says, "See! I knew you couldn't do it." What's more, some people might even think that voice comes from God, mocking our efforts and any idea that we could accomplish anything.
So, in these ways, I hate New Year's Resolutions. I hate anything that belittles us and encourages each of us to devalue ourselves (and each other). I hate social pressure and judgment that is so contrary to God's love and acceptance. I hate it when people focus on superficial change, rather than on developing the fruits of the Spirit or living out the gifts and passions God have given them.
And yet, I know that people change. Even more, through faith, I know that God works amazing changes in each of us. In some ways, the fullness of life cannot begin until we acknowledge our need for God's transformation in our lives. What is more, in my own life, I've seen that some of the most important changes have required my active participation. It's not enough to simply want to become more forgiving or more generous or to want a closer relationship with God: these desires take consistent and repeated action. That's how we each grow in our faith.
And I love when people grow in faith. I love when they try something new and find success and affirmation. I love when they tap into something that God planted in them long ago, but which they now understand and use in a more fulfilling way. These are just the sorts of things that feed a pastor's soul (and, if we are not careful, our egos).
So, what should a pastor do as the new year approaches? Should we discourage or encourage New Year's resolutions among church folks?
At our best, I hope that church leaders encourage people to see their growth and self-improvement in ways that are shaped more by God's values than those of our culture -- especially the ones that focus on physical appearance, economic status, or popularity. Instead, I hope that we encourage goals shaped by healthier lifestyles, better priorities in how we use our time and resources, deeper relationships with those we love, and growing in faith.
Even more, I hope that we encourage people through the ups and downs of goal-setting and then striving to achieve those goals. We need to model this in our own lives and leadership, helping people to create better and more flexible plans for achieving their goals. And we need to remind people that such change is never a one-time, all-or-nothing, event. It takes persistence, and usually some failure, to make meaningful changes in our lives.
Ultimately, it takes more than a commitment at the start of a new year. It takes re-commitment throughout the year. It takes a willingness to begin as soon as your goal is set and your plan is ready, not on January 1. It also takes a willingness to adjust that plan, as necessary.
And it takes a different understanding of ourselves. Rather than focusing on our flaws, and believing that happiness is a change away, we need to recognize the value we already have as people. We need to celebrate our value and worth, as children beloved by and created by God, and know that the changes we make do not really add to our value in God's eyes, but instead add to our experience of the value God has placed on our lives since before we were born.
Over the years, I have made my own resolutions too. So I won't judge anyone else for setting goals. And I've known people whose New Year's resolutions have inspired great and meaningful changes in their lives. People who have given up smoking. People who have given up toxic relationships. People who have continued a new exercise routine far beyond January.
I'm delighted when we can celebrate such accomplishments. Deep down, I'm a Calvinist, with a pretty strong conception of human sin. I know we are all broken and need plenty of "fixing up." Each approaching new year can serve as a secular Ash Wednesday, reminding us of our mortality, and encouraging us to atone for our mistakes and try to get our acts together. We can take stock of our lives, identify things we are unhappy with, and figure out ways to improve things.
Of course, much of our self-reflection is heavily influenced by others -- how others treat us, how we imagine others see us, and the images of success that we see in others around us and portrayed in popular culture. As a pastor, I hate buying into such cultural peer pressure, especially when it often is so unhealthy and blindly judgmental.
I worry about all of the New Year's resolutions people make to try to fit someone else's idea of happiness. These resolutions imagine a certain physical appearance, a certain relationship status, a certain job title, a certain income level, or a certain lifestyle that people think will make them happy. Usually, though, if the goals don't come from deep within us, they lead mostly to resentment and frustration. And they easily become part of a narrative that we just are not good enough.
While the Calvinist in me recognizes a sliver of truth in that, the Christian in me knows that the gospel of Jesus teaches a different appreciation of humankind. God looks at us not only with righteous judgment, but with love and grace that is bigger than our sinfulness.
Which is to say, many New Year's Resolutions must make God's heart ache. When our goals are motivated by what we see on a video screen, or the rejection that we see in others' eyes, they almost never have anything to do with God. As a pastor, I hate it when people confuse the judgments of other people for the judgment of God.
Speaking of that judgment -- I also know that most people will fail at their resolutions. It usually takes lots of perseverance, and several false starts and slip ups, to make significant changes in our lives. And it can be easy for these failures to become part of an inner voice that says, "See! I knew you couldn't do it." What's more, some people might even think that voice comes from God, mocking our efforts and any idea that we could accomplish anything.
So, in these ways, I hate New Year's Resolutions. I hate anything that belittles us and encourages each of us to devalue ourselves (and each other). I hate social pressure and judgment that is so contrary to God's love and acceptance. I hate it when people focus on superficial change, rather than on developing the fruits of the Spirit or living out the gifts and passions God have given them.
And yet, I know that people change. Even more, through faith, I know that God works amazing changes in each of us. In some ways, the fullness of life cannot begin until we acknowledge our need for God's transformation in our lives. What is more, in my own life, I've seen that some of the most important changes have required my active participation. It's not enough to simply want to become more forgiving or more generous or to want a closer relationship with God: these desires take consistent and repeated action. That's how we each grow in our faith.
And I love when people grow in faith. I love when they try something new and find success and affirmation. I love when they tap into something that God planted in them long ago, but which they now understand and use in a more fulfilling way. These are just the sorts of things that feed a pastor's soul (and, if we are not careful, our egos).
So, what should a pastor do as the new year approaches? Should we discourage or encourage New Year's resolutions among church folks?
At our best, I hope that church leaders encourage people to see their growth and self-improvement in ways that are shaped more by God's values than those of our culture -- especially the ones that focus on physical appearance, economic status, or popularity. Instead, I hope that we encourage goals shaped by healthier lifestyles, better priorities in how we use our time and resources, deeper relationships with those we love, and growing in faith.
Even more, I hope that we encourage people through the ups and downs of goal-setting and then striving to achieve those goals. We need to model this in our own lives and leadership, helping people to create better and more flexible plans for achieving their goals. And we need to remind people that such change is never a one-time, all-or-nothing, event. It takes persistence, and usually some failure, to make meaningful changes in our lives.
Ultimately, it takes more than a commitment at the start of a new year. It takes re-commitment throughout the year. It takes a willingness to begin as soon as your goal is set and your plan is ready, not on January 1. It also takes a willingness to adjust that plan, as necessary.
And it takes a different understanding of ourselves. Rather than focusing on our flaws, and believing that happiness is a change away, we need to recognize the value we already have as people. We need to celebrate our value and worth, as children beloved by and created by God, and know that the changes we make do not really add to our value in God's eyes, but instead add to our experience of the value God has placed on our lives since before we were born.
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